apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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