All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
