3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst night to have a conscience
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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