then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
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Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
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I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My dick has a subreddit
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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