She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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