if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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