that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
