shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Two words: blizzard sex
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
