consequently i now know what mace tastes like
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
