its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
