It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
