Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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