Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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