is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Help. Why am I so naked?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
