Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
