More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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