I'm drive I can fine osifer
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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