4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
