Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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