On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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