I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize