I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize