So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
