Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
