Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
