Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
