return my video game
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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