I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
