i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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