just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
