is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
