i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you would pick up someone in the library
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
