Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
