i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast