A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The feeling are messing with the penis
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?