In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
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never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
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Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.