Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."