and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize