So drunk its hurt
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
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