He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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