im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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