i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
