I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
