You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
