so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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