Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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