That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
