I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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