He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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