Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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