im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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