help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
