Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
dude. I can hear the air.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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