and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
