There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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