I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize