none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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