I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
