the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
