We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
