I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
