My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize