You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
